Your Dating Tales » Tips

If he don’t give you Saturday night, he ain’t that into you!

Single in SF City — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 10:20:00 +0000

Ever thought about why????The Friday night date was fun, but after that date, he never tried to put any moves on me. No kiss, nothing. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was holding back because we seemed to be getting along so well.The Friday night date was fun, but after that date, he never tried to put any moves on me. No kiss, nothing. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was holding back because we seemed to be getting along so well.

It’s a lesson that goes way back…

About five years ago, I’d met this doctor through an online dating service. After we’d done the whole e-mailing bit, he’d called me to set up dinner for Thursday night. Off to a good start

The night we met up for dinner was fabulous. We were getting along great. He even paid me a follow-up call the next day to make plans for the next weekend. Those plans ended up being a movie on a Friday night. By that point, I totally thought I’d scored! A doctor? Friday night? WHOOP WHOOP!

The Friday night date was fun, but after that date, he never tried to put any moves on me. No kiss, nothing. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was holding back because we seemed to be getting along so well.

But oK, fine. Friday night date….I was moving up the ladder.

The next time he’d asked me out was for a Sunday afternoon semi-formal jazz concert in the city. I remember thinking…”Wow, he’s asking me out to a more formal event…I’m totally in with this guy”.Once again, we had a lovely time on the date.

Afterwards, he ended the night with a hug. WTF? Was he gay???

OK, now something was wrong. I mean, it was the third date and no kiss?

So that night, I had to see what was up.

I called him and said, “Listen, this may be kind of an awkward subject, but I have to tell you that the next time we see each other, I have to kiss you.”

He replied hesitantly, “Well, you know what I wanted to tell you tonight? I am seeing someone else and we’ve decided that we’re going to start seeing each other seriously now. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know how…”

OMG, I was stunned. But I handled it well. I congratulated him and wished him luck. After all, he had taken me on three great dates.

Unfortunately, this was a rough lesson to take. But it is so true and it applies to both guys and girls. Like my favorite matchmaker Patti Stanger said, “If he doesn’t give you Saturday night, he’s not that into you”.

And in this case, not only was he not into me, but he had a girl on the backburer too.

WHY Won’t He Call Back???

Single in SF City — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 22:13:46 +0000

So I just noticed that everyone is publishing some type of woman’s guide to “catch” a good man.

The time old question a woman always asks herself is, “Why didn’t he call me back?” Trust me, I’ve been there too and I’m just as clueless as the next chick. I’ve yet to read some of these books, but I’ve heard many of the authors on TV discuss some of the main points. There are some UNIVERSAL rules that a girl needs to follow. If you’re wondering what they are, refer to my previous post, particularly point #5

http://www.yourdatingtales.com/2009/05/05/want-a-good-man-then-dont/

DO NOT sleep with him on the first date. That is a sure-fire way that he won’t call back, unless it’s for another hook-up. And that advice isn’t coming from me–I’ve heard that from these authors on TV.

As far as any other reasons he wouldn’t call back…I’d love to hear suggestions so if ya got ‘em, send ‘em!

You’ll be doing a good deed for woman-kind

To Circumcise, or Not. That Is The Question.

Single in SF City — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:18:53 +0000

So the verdict is in. It’s unanimous…

We like the CUT version. Men, women, period.

This past weekend, I was in deep conversation with a few of my new urbanized friends: Nick from Laguna Beach, Chili V from FiDi, and in Davey D from La Mission. Such a motley crew they were. And yes, the conversation was real. It was raw. It was hilarious. We somehow started about male circumcision, and all of the controversy I stirred up with my recent post.

My two cents were these: “Aren’t there hygiene issues associated with not being circumcised?”

Chili V from FiDi knew it best: “Have you ever smelled an uncut penis? Trust me, if it don’t smell good, it won’t taste good!”

EWWWWWW!!!!

Nick’s response: “DUDE! That’s disgusting. No foreskin, no five-skin, no six-skin! NO NO NO!” Nick from Laguna even recited a true story of a woman leaving a guy because she couldn’t get over the turtleneck the dude was sportin’.

Davey D’s was perplexed. “I can’t imagine a body odor coming from a guy’s johnson. That’s just weird.”

Listen, I’m no expert. Nor do I want to be. But the votes are in and sorry guys! We like the cut version better!

But WAIT WAIT WAIT! Women weren’t off the hook either. Speaking of uncut, La Mission’s Davey D led us into the conversation about a woman’s natural born-ness.

We’re talking about the vajay-a-jay… SHAVE IT!

There’s nothing more disgusting than seeing a woman’s you know what that’s not taken care of. Ladies, you gotta make the cut!

In Davey D’s words: “The natural look on a woman just isn’t good”.

We couldn’t agree more.

There’s a lot more from this conversation so stay tuned…

Ladies, Is He Asking You About Money???

Single in SF City — Thu, 07 May 2009 22:17:51 +0000

I have to get back to the point I made in the previous post.

Ladies, NEVER EVER EVER let a man pry into your financial situation.

Why?

First off, your financial situation is none of a man’s business unless you’re in a serious long-term relationship.

Second, if he’s asking, that means he probably wants some of it.

Case in point…

I’ve dated a lot of guys who made less money than me. Not that I ever asked, but their professions usually dictated their income bracket. And those were the EXACT same guys who attempted to pry into my financial life.

For the most part, the guy would try to “beat around the bush” and allude to my lifestyle, and press on how nice my car and apartment were. This has happened with (among others):

1. A guy on a first date.

2. A guy I had been dating for some time.

3. An ex boyfriend.

The guy on the first date had the nerve to say “Oh, you’re doing well for yourself. Girls like you who make a lot of money always act the same way.” WTF? Girls like me? I never told him my income or even indicated a range. But that guy was a bum and felt like a bum in front of me. So that’s why he chose to put me up on this pedestal and make me feel like a “high maintenance” kind of girl.

The second guy did not have a profession. He had a regular job at a store that I won’t mention. But he would always say things to me like “Oh, you should just go ahead and buy this or that…You know you can afford it!” I always thought of saying “Well, if you were a man and wanted me to have these things, then why don’t you buy them for me?” This guy was totally insecure.

The third guy was just cheap. He was actually a professional, but he had the nerve to straight up ask, “How much money do you make”. And he continued to ask that same question from the time I met him to the time our relationship ended. I always told him, “I don’t divulge my financial situation unless I’m getting married.” Come to find out, he was always just cheap and DEFINITELY wanted to take advantage of my money.

LADIES: If he does this, it’s a sign of insecurity. It is very likely that he’s also trying to get into your pockets.

I know what you’re thinking and YES, it’s true…I need to start picking new guys

Want a Good Man? Then Don’t….

Single in SF City — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:16:10 +0000

I’m a good catch Lots of us are.

But I’ve seen and done some things that would never get me a good man!

Ladies, if you want a decent guy, you gotta be a decent girl.

Here are five things NOT to do….

1. Don’t get drunk in front of a guy.

Pretty self explanatory, right? But why do so many girls get sloppy-wasted in front of a guy? If you’re on a date and drinks are involved, pace yourself!!! One, or two drinks MAX. And if he’s gonna buy you drinks, then he better buy you food too.

See my post: When It’s time to Go Home, You Got to Get the F*** Out

Nuff Said!

2. Don’t offer to pay.

I’m sorry, but why do girls offer to pay on the first or even second date? I would never even offer, because what if a guy takes you up on that offer? It would be a super red flag if he did. But who cares? Don’t even go there!

It’s not a woman’s place to pay for dinner or drinks. If you offer and he says “yes”, it’s your fault!

3. Don’t accept a date invitation by text!

OK, when a guy texts “hi, hello…”, that’s fine. But if he asks you out via text-message, DO NOT ACCEPT! Yes, times are-a-changin’, but this one is a no-brainer. I’ve had a handful of guys try to ask me out on a date via text, and I can’t help but think to myself, “Damn, is he too lazy to call me to make plans?”

When a girl accepts a text-message invitation, I think it sends a message to a guy that it’s ok to be lazy.

That’s just my humble opinion

4. Don’t talk about money.

I won’t ever let a guy take me into a conversation about money. Trust me, so many guys have tried to lead me into that subject, but I back out without hesitation. WHY? Because how much money a woman makes is NONE of a guy’s business.

I’ll write more on this subject later, but for now, just know that if a guy is prying into your financial life, it’s a TOTAL red flag.

Letting him into your financial situation is like givin up the “goods” too soon, if you know what I mean.

5. Don’t act like a hoe.

How many of us have made this mistake? I won’t say if I have or not, ha ha! Acting like a hoe entails MANY things.

What’s on the list? Givin it up on the first date, booty calls, being too easy in general.

If you have self respect, then demand the same from the guy!

Wash your mouth out with SOAP if you have to!

Single in SF City — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:08:28 +0000

This is a quickie tip for both guys and girls…

I’d met a guy several weeks ago who was totally cool. We got along just fab and I even sensed a little chemistry, ooooh! We had a fantastic date; conversation was flowing, he paid for the meal without hesitation, and he even walked me home.

Low and behold, I was correctomundo on the chemistry because he attempted a kiss at the end of the night.

To my total displeasure, his attempt was a freaking disaster!

Why? You might ask…

His breath smelled like a TOILET! A toilet full of cigarettes and a bunch of other nasty sh**.

Normally, my sense of smell is right on. But for some reason, I couldn’t detect the repugnancy of his breath while I was talking to him.

Seriously, it was such a shame.

I just had to turn my head. And that was the end of the night, and unfortunately, the last time I wanted to see him.

Such sadness I feel when I think that a cool guy completely ruined his chances and his reputation with foul hygiene.

This is an easy and free tip for everyone! Wash your freaking mouth out because you never know where or when you might have to use it.