A while back I took out a friend that is kind of special to me. We never really dated or dialed the booty call number or the FWB thang but we did have that sexual tension and bragging about who would put it on who… As a Scorpio I have my little skills and talents that goes unmatched by others plus my ego to match helps as well. I try not to boast and brag to much or push a situation to a level where I’m not willing to commit to the following actions.

So one night I take my lady friend to a party that my peoples are throwing not as my date but as a friend with other friends. Of course we are dancing, drinking, flirting and everything else. Plus lining up work for after the party or another time. (should I define work? or will everyone get what I mean?) Because she is not the only one I’m flirting with and I know she’s flirting with the other guys in the party. I continue making my moves shaking hands with all the right people and narrowing down the potential work for the night.

This bad Korean girl and I mean BAD! She was ready too and her friend too. I’m not sure if it would have went down that way but I’ll never know. After the party was just about over I was in a position where I had to drop off my car poolies. Damn but I’m not a ass so I talked with Korean girl to arrange the meet for when I dropped everyone off.

Now old girl that is supposed to be friend is all touchy feely in the back sit while my man rides in the front. Pulling on my ears, rubbing on my neck and once she in the front seat to be dropped of next her hand are all up and down the kid’s thighs in the crotch and everythang. We pull up to here place and we make out something heavy and I’m losing track of time. My Korean lady is calling and just when I think its over and about to get to moving on she dives in like she’s about to blow the kids dome up and I’m ready for it! But wait she just opens up my pants then lets her seat back strips off her stretchy pants and goes in on herself!

I mean full blown masturbation.

In my mind I know I got to get this into the house and I do and we are back to making out in the door to the living room couch. I got the key at the pearly gates of Venus trying to make the key fit. I find the right keyhole and the key is just about no the key is in not all the way but enough! With a deep gasp ole girls sobers up, wakes up, or catches wind of whats about to happen and digs her nails into the back of my neck and says “No Reem you can’t be fuckin me; not like this” WTF! I’m in you! Now is not time to be saying no! I’m in you  not all the way but still in you can I finish?

Well I didn’t say anything like that but I thought it as she went into a emotional spill about whatever. I understand NO and even being intoxicated but I don’t think anyone is ever so intoxicated that they would just masterbate in the front seat of the drivers car then non verbally invite them into the house for more foreplay, let the guy get you undressed and ready to fuck…

Please if its not your intention to go all the way that night or any night please pump your breaks at the car door or the house door! I’m a good dude and take pride in that but WTF if I was just some asshole this could have ended badly! This shit wasn’t even really a date it was some shit that happened. Kind of like Biggie “I got a story to tell”

It’s a lesson that goes way back…

About five years ago, I’d met this doctor through an online dating service. After we’d done the whole e-mailing bit, he’d called me to set up dinner for Thursday night. Off to a good start

The night we met up for dinner was fabulous. We were getting along great. He even paid me a follow-up call the next day to make plans for the next weekend. Those plans ended up being a movie on a Friday night. By that point, I totally thought I’d scored! A doctor? Friday night? WHOOP WHOOP!

The Friday night date was fun, but after that date, he never tried to put any moves on me. No kiss, nothing. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was holding back because we seemed to be getting along so well.

But oK, fine. Friday night date….I was moving up the ladder.

The next time he’d asked me out was for a Sunday afternoon semi-formal jazz concert in the city. I remember thinking…”Wow, he’s asking me out to a more formal event…I’m totally in with this guy”.Once again, we had a lovely time on the date.

Way back in school there was this guy who had taken a very obvious interest in me. I really can’t remember how we’d met, but every time I saw him, he’d always make a point to talk to me about some thing or another. The problem was that this guy was weird. I mean, socially awkward weird.

But me and my cordial self thought that it wouldn’t be very nice to ignore him. I mean he may have been weird, but I was certain that he was harmless.

As we came to talk more and more, we finally got to the the point where we became “friends”. I put that in quotations because looking back, he was never my friend. But we were friendly enough that we spoke on the phone at times.

About a year later, I moved to New York. Although I made no effort to keep in touch with him, he made a point to keep in touch with me. At some point, he had asked for my address. I figured he wanted to send me a letter or something (this was way before e-mail became popular, by the way).

So I gave it to him.

After I recited my address, he responded, “I’m gonna come visit you in New York, ok?”. I innocently said, “ok”.

Now, when someone says they’re gonna come visit, I usually take it in a rhetorical way. Like, they’re just putting it out there, right? Well that’s what I thought. And in any case, someone who is really planning to visit usually makes an effort to coordinate their schedule with mine and make sure everything is ok before they arrive.

Low and behold, a couple weeks later, my doorbell was ringing. I looked out the front window and who was it? None other than weirdo himself!

And you know what was even worse????

He came by car.

Yep, that’s right. He DROVE all the way from California to New York.

Do I even have to say it?….PSYCHO!

What did I do?

Ignore his crazy ass.

There was no way I was gonna let him in. He didn’t clear his visit with me in any way, shape, or form. He didn’t let me know he was coming, so he damn sure wasn’t getting in my front door!

I really don’t know what the lesson is here.

Just don’t share your personal information with people, especially someone you’re not really close with–Give him your email address and be done with it.

There’s more to this story, trust me. I’ll stop there and continue later…

I’m noticing a trend here. Ok, it’s not a trend. It’s a lifestyle.

Yes, people here are free-thinking and alternative. They go against the grain in so many aspects of life. But when it comes to commitment, it feels like men (and women!) run like Bubonic Plague is coming.

Prime example…

I met someone online (Don’t want to mention the website, but it is one of the most popular dating websites out there). We liked each other, got along perfectly, and had been seeing each other on and off for the past year and a half. But in all of that time, that casual complacency set in. Finally, it came to the point where I said (paraphrasing) “Look, no more casual dating for us. It’s either time to commit, or time to say goodbye.” Well, he assured me that the conversation was best left spoken in person. In the meantime though, he said that he took his profile off that site. He also continued to call and stay in close contact with me.

All along, I was thinking, why is it taking so long to talk about the subject?!? If you like me, you like me. And after all of this time, I really don’t want to be strung along, ya know!

A few weeks later, something in my gut told me to check that website. So I did.

Whaddya know…he was on there. In full view. Active.

What did I do? Said goodbye and good riddance.

Moral here? Don’t be silly like me and ignore those obvious signs signs signs…

Ladies: Check ‘em. Check the man and check your gut. I think both will lead you to the right place.
Men: Don’t string girls along. It’s just juvenile. If you want to play around with girls, then go back to the sandbox and stay there.

The time old question a woman always asks herself is, “Why didn’t he call me back?” Trust me, I’ve been there too and I’m just as clueless as the next chick. I’ve yet to read some of these books, but I’ve heard many of the authors on TV discuss some of the main points. There are some UNIVERSAL rules that a girl needs to follow. If you’re wondering what they are, refer to my previous post, particularly point #5

http://www.yourdatingtales.com/2009/05/05/want-a-good-man-then-dont/

DO NOT sleep with him on the first date. That is a sure-fire way that he won’t call back, unless it’s for another hook-up. And that advice isn’t coming from me–I’ve heard that from these authors on TV.

As far as any other reasons he wouldn’t call back…I’d love to hear suggestions so if ya got ‘em, send ‘em!

You’ll be doing a good deed for woman-kind

We like the CUT version. Men, women, period.

This past weekend, I was in deep conversation with a few of my new urbanized friends: Nick from Laguna Beach, Chili V from FiDi, and in Davey D from La Mission. Such a motley crew they were. And yes, the conversation was real. It was raw. It was hilarious. We somehow started about male circumcision, and all of the controversy I stirred up with my recent post.

My two cents were these: “Aren’t there hygiene issues associated with not being circumcised?”

Chili V from FiDi knew it best: “Have you ever smelled an uncut penis? Trust me, if it don’t smell good, it won’t taste good!”

EWWWWWW!!!!

Nick’s response: “DUDE! That’s disgusting. No foreskin, no five-skin, no six-skin! NO NO NO!” Nick from Laguna even recited a true story of a woman leaving a guy because she couldn’t get over the turtleneck the dude was sportin’.

Davey D’s was perplexed. “I can’t imagine a body odor coming from a guy’s johnson. That’s just weird.”

Listen, I’m no expert. Nor do I want to be. But the votes are in and sorry guys! We like the cut version better!

But WAIT WAIT WAIT! Women weren’t off the hook either. Speaking of uncut, La Mission’s Davey D led us into the conversation about a woman’s natural born-ness.

We’re talking about the vajay-a-jay… SHAVE IT!

There’s nothing more disgusting than seeing a woman’s you know what that’s not taken care of. Ladies, you gotta make the cut!

In Davey D’s words: “The natural look on a woman just isn’t good”.

We couldn’t agree more.

There’s a lot more from this conversation so stay tuned…

Ladies, NEVER EVER EVER let a man pry into your financial situation.

Why?

First off, your financial situation is none of a man’s business unless you’re in a serious long-term relationship.

Second, if he’s asking, that means he probably wants some of it.

Case in point…

I’ve dated a lot of guys who made less money than me. Not that I ever asked, but their professions usually dictated their income bracket. And those were the EXACT same guys who attempted to pry into my financial life.

For the most part, the guy would try to “beat around the bush” and allude to my lifestyle, and press on how nice my car and apartment were. This has happened with (among others):

1. A guy on a first date.

2. A guy I had been dating for some time.

3. An ex boyfriend.

The guy on the first date had the nerve to say “Oh, you’re doing well for yourself. Girls like you who make a lot of money always act the same way.” WTF? Girls like me? I never told him my income or even indicated a range. But that guy was a bum and felt like a bum in front of me. So that’s why he chose to put me up on this pedestal and make me feel like a “high maintenance” kind of girl.

The second guy did not have a profession. He had a regular job at a store that I won’t mention. But he would always say things to me like “Oh, you should just go ahead and buy this or that…You know you can afford it!” I always thought of saying “Well, if you were a man and wanted me to have these things, then why don’t you buy them for me?” This guy was totally insecure.

The third guy was just cheap. He was actually a professional, but he had the nerve to straight up ask, “How much money do you make”. And he continued to ask that same question from the time I met him to the time our relationship ended. I always told him, “I don’t divulge my financial situation unless I’m getting married.” Come to find out, he was always just cheap and DEFINITELY wanted to take advantage of my money.

LADIES: If he does this, it’s a sign of insecurity. It is very likely that he’s also trying to get into your pockets.

I know what you’re thinking and YES, it’s true…I need to start picking new guys

But I’ve seen and done some things that would never get me a good man!

Ladies, if you want a decent guy, you gotta be a decent girl.

Here are five things NOT to do….

1. Don’t get drunk in front of a guy.

Pretty self explanatory, right? But why do so many girls get sloppy-wasted in front of a guy? If you’re on a date and drinks are involved, pace yourself!!! One, or two drinks MAX. And if he’s gonna buy you drinks, then he better buy you food too.

See my post: When It’s time to Go Home, You Got to Get the F*** Out

Nuff Said!

2. Don’t offer to pay.

I’m sorry, but why do girls offer to pay on the first or even second date? I would never even offer, because what if a guy takes you up on that offer? It would be a super red flag if he did. But who cares? Don’t even go there!

It’s not a woman’s place to pay for dinner or drinks. If you offer and he says “yes”, it’s your fault!

3. Don’t accept a date invitation by text!

OK, when a guy texts “hi, hello…”, that’s fine. But if he asks you out via text-message, DO NOT ACCEPT! Yes, times are-a-changin’, but this one is a no-brainer. I’ve had a handful of guys try to ask me out on a date via text, and I can’t help but think to myself, “Damn, is he too lazy to call me to make plans?”

When a girl accepts a text-message invitation, I think it sends a message to a guy that it’s ok to be lazy.

That’s just my humble opinion

4. Don’t talk about money.

I won’t ever let a guy take me into a conversation about money. Trust me, so many guys have tried to lead me into that subject, but I back out without hesitation. WHY? Because how much money a woman makes is NONE of a guy’s business.

I’ll write more on this subject later, but for now, just know that if a guy is prying into your financial life, it’s a TOTAL red flag.

Letting him into your financial situation is like givin up the “goods” too soon, if you know what I mean.

5. Don’t act like a hoe.

How many of us have made this mistake? I won’t say if I have or not, ha ha! Acting like a hoe entails MANY things.

What’s on the list? Givin it up on the first date, booty calls, being too easy in general.

If you have self respect, then demand the same from the guy!

I’d met a guy several weeks ago who was totally cool. We got along just fab and I even sensed a little chemistry, ooooh! We had a fantastic date; conversation was flowing, he paid for the meal without hesitation, and he even walked me home.

Low and behold, I was correctomundo on the chemistry because he attempted a kiss at the end of the night.

To my total displeasure, his attempt was a freaking disaster!

Why? You might ask…

His breath smelled like a TOILET! A toilet full of cigarettes and a bunch of other nasty sh**.

Normally, my sense of smell is right on. But for some reason, I couldn’t detect the repugnancy of his breath while I was talking to him.

Seriously, it was such a shame.

I just had to turn my head. And that was the end of the night, and unfortunately, the last time I wanted to see him.

Such sadness I feel when I think that a cool guy completely ruined his chances and his reputation with foul hygiene.

This is an easy and free tip for everyone! Wash your freaking mouth out because you never know where or when you might have to use it.

He was an a-hole, straight up. He would ask me to drive him around, help him with his homework, basically be his mom. Well one day he asked me to purchase a pair of jeans for him, and he swore up and down he would pay me back.

Ladies, HELLOOOO!!!! If a guy EVER asks you for money, you better run like the plague.

Well, I didn’t do that. My naive and silly self actually believed that he would pay me back. Weeks later, after I realized I wasn’t gonna get the money, I should have said “good riddance” and never spoke to him again.

But I wanted to seek revenge.

So what did I do?….

I went into the chemistry lab and grabbed one of the bottles of acid with intentions of pouring it on his car.

But the universe was striking me down…

I couldn’t find his car! On top of that, I drove around in my car to try to find his car, and I stupidly set the bottle on the passenger side floor of my car. What do you think happened???? The worst….The bottle of acid toppled over and burned through the carpet of the floor in my car!

Man, karma’s really a b-word! My bad intentions turned right back on me.

Guys and girls…I took this one for the team. If you even think of seeking revenge, think twice!

http://surveygizmo.okccontest.sgizmo.com?c=208.